The War of 1812
Written by Derek Hanson   
Friday, 13 November 2009 09:00
warof1812

Perhaps the most instensely debated issue in football over the past decade is whether Tom Brady or Peyton Manning is the NFL's premiere quarterback.  On Sunday night, the two QB's may meet for the last time in the 00's.  It could be the last chance for either of them to prove why they should be considered the top quarterback of their era.  There have been thousands upon thousands of words written on the subject.  Brady supporters point to his three Super Bowl titles.  Manning fans reply with Peyton's overal superior statistics.  Tom's backers counter that when Brady had the recievers, he broke all of Manning's records.  Peyton's camp retorts that when Manning had a supporting cast on par with Brady's he took the Colts to the Super Bowl.  It's a debate that may seemingly never end...

Until now!  It's pretty clear that when you compare the successing of Manning and Brady, you're left with a near tie.  However, what few people consider are the duo's flaws.  I mean, if you go 18-0 and then lose the Super Bowl, that's gotta detract a bit from your legacy.  Likewise, if you set the NFL record for touchdown passes in a season, only to watch your team get bounced out of the playoffs by only putting up three points, that's also pretty bad.  Today, two of Indy and New England's biggest fans will attempt to put the Brady/Manning debate to rest once and for all.  18to88.com will be posting an article highlighting Tom Brady's flaws.   FoxboroBlog.com will be countering with Peyton Manning's biggest downfall.  When it's all said and done, Dave of MoneylineLoser.com will get his long-time friend Peter King to judge each each quarterback point by point and finally declare once and for all who the QB of the Decade truly is!


Foxboro Blog's Take on Peyton Manning:


1. Most annoying in-game habit

Flapping his arms like an albatross before every snap.  This is football, not the New York Philharmonic.  Just run the play already!

2. Worst press conference moment

Calling Mike Vanderjagt an "idiot kicker".  Look, we all know that Vanderjerk needed to keep his mouth shut, but you don't throw your teammates under the bus like that - especially if you're the team leader.


3.  Lamest Advertisement

Peyton Manning will clearly shill for whatever company or product will throw some money at him.  I'm still waiting for him to show up in a Valtrex ad.  "Hello, my name is Peyton Manning, and I have genital herpes."  However, until that one hits the airwaves the Oreos Double Stuff Racing team has to take the cake.

I bet Archie Manning wished he had a vesectomy after watching that one.

 

4. Worst Player Backed Up in College

Todd Helton - the guy plays for the Colorado Rockies!

 

5. Lamest Photo

Finding a picture of Peyton Manning looking like a goober is like finding a three leaf clover.  There are so many to chose from, but this one of Manning and Dungy about to french kiss may be my favorite.

manning-dungy

You won't ever see a shot like that from Brady and Belichick.  Those two celebrate using a secret handshake where they clang their eight combined Super Bowl rings together.

 

6. Worst facial feature

manning forehead

Peyton Manning's head is more dysmorphic than Stewie Griffin's.  One of my favorite things in life is a Peyton Manning interception, followed by him angrily ripping of his helmet to reveal that gigantic forehead of his, all angry and red from being stuffed inside his helmet.  It's a beauiful sight to behold.

drivein

At least he's found a way to put it to good use during those balmy summer nights in Indianapolis!

 

7. Wussiest Rule Change

After Peyton Manning pitched a hissy fit about the Patriots defense roughing up his receivers, the league changed the league cracked down to help the Colts out a bit.  Notice how the Pats/Colts rivalry became decidedly less one-sided after that change was made...

 

8. Biggest scandal

Peyton Manning mooned a woman in college which ended in a lawsuit.



9.  Lamest Celebrity fan
Kenny Chesney and Peyton Manning have a recorded duet where they sing the following lyrics.

Whatever it takes to win your love
I hire me an airplane, have it paint your name up in the sky above
I tell the world I'm yours, put it on a billboard out on the interstate
If it takes forever to get us together
Honey I'll do whatever it takes

When Sir Elton and Tom Brady get together for a remake of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?", then maybe you'll win this point.



Now that you've seen Peyton Manning dissected, head over to 18to88.com to hear them rip Tom Brady Apart!

Then take a trip to MoneylineLoser.com, where Peter King will put together all the pieces and declare our winner!


Digg! Reddit! Facebook! Technorati! StumbleUpon! BallHype: hype it up!
Comments (4)Add Comment
...
written by Monkey Business, November 13, 2009
Re, #2 - In all fairness, Vanderjagt was a liquored up idiot kicker. I mean, who the hell shanks a field goal in the playoffs to send it to OT, then goes on FREAKING LETTERMEN, A WEEK LATER, AND MAKES IT?!? It's like, gee, you can make it outside, down a New York City street, but you can't make it in the climate controlled, zero wind, RCA Dome?

Dammit, now I need a drink. Mike Vanderjagt: driving Colts fans to booze since 2005.

Re #6, all glory to the Fivehead!

Re #7, there wasn't a rule change. The rules were in the books already. The Pats DBs were basically molesting the Colts receivers all day. I mean, if they had done that on the street, they'd all be serving 5-10 upstate somewhere. So, the Competition Committee made it a "point of emphasis", which basically told the refs to enforce it as written.
Damn, I've seen #7 batted about endlessly the past week.
written by Bobman, November 13, 2009
Every.
Single.
Mention.
Erroneous.

It's one thing for it to pop up on a humous blog entry, but in actual newspaper (website) articles by actual "journalists"... pathetic.

#6 was awesome. The fivehead rules. Stewie Griffin has a football head, which, come to think of it, would be more appropriate for Manning.

How can you find fault with #3. It's Oreos, for Pete's sake! Like apple pie and mothers. What's next, making fun of the Grand Canyon, Mt Rushmore, Dolly Parton, and other national treasures? Plus, he was giving his pathetic kid brother a job--Jeez, that's pretty harsh ridiculing that one. Maybe the laser-rocket-arm commercial where he's got a fake porn 'stache. But no, sir, you cannot ridicule Oreos. You can take my Oreos away from me when you pry them from my bloated, dead fingers.

If I went to court for everyone I mooned in college (including the Resident Advisor Selection Committee during the meeting at which I was selected), I'd pass the bar exam without ever attending law school.

Also, ridiculing country music lyrics is too easy. Basic math dictates that fish+barrel+gun=no contest.
Also...
written by Bobman, November 13, 2009
In the photo for number 5, please, PLEASE tell me I don't see an tongue there, do I? No, right? It's pretty grainy and I'm not feeling so well.....
I just have to comment on #6 again
written by Bobman, November 13, 2009
That is the funniest damn thing. What I really love about it is the choice of movie--Moses spreading his arms out wide, bringing down the wrath of God. As if he's saying to a little kid, "How big is Peyton's fivehead? Peyton's fivehead is THIIIIIIIIS big."

Look, I can spread my patriarchal arms all the way out and not even get to the temple. (gotta love the double entendres) We could walk across this head for forty years and not get to the other side. Inspired movie choice.

Charlton Heston was never better used, except maybe in that movie where Tedy Bruschi caught him in a net and he told Tedy to get his filthy hands off him....

Write comment

busy
< Prev   Next >
 

About Bloguin

Bloguin is the revolutionary blog network specifically focused on helping bloggers get the most out of their websites. We're currently working on building a large network of online communities and hope to expand our blogging coverage to include a wide range of topics.

Advertisers

The Bloguin Network allows advertisers to promote their products and services to our ever-growing number of visitors. We offer both site-specific ad placements as well as the ability to run a network-wide campaign. If you're interested in working with Bloguin to meet your advertising needs, please contact us.

Bloggers Wanted

The Bloguin Network is always looking to expand. We're specifically looking for blogs in the sports, entertainment, and video games field, but are open to adding any type of quality site. If you're a blogger and interested in joining our network, please fill out our application form.

The Bloguin Login

The Bloguin Login gives you full access to everything our network has to offer. Your name and password will work for each and every one of our sites. Signing up is simple, and will allow you to post in all our forums, create member blogs, and access other cool features! What are you waiting for? Create an Account!